I was presenting at an important meeting and the nervous jitters were no joke, so right before the meeting started, I looked out of my window and quickly prayed, “God, I know, I really do know you’re here and I know this is silly and I haven’t done this in a while, but if you’re here, please let me see anything fly. A bird, a plane, a - …”

In that moment, a saw a little yellow leaf flying up in the sky. It was small, but it was visible and I couldn’t help but laugh.

I used to do this all the time.

Whenever I needed a sign for anything, whether it was His existence to making life decisions, I used to always ask God to see a “yellow car”, “let the wind shake me while walking”, or whatever that would pop to mind. Of course when God would give me those “signs” I would immediately think, “wait, that was too easy… no that couldn’t be Him” and immediately ask Him for that same sign again and of course that’s when it felt like I heard nothing.

Looking back at this, it made me realize how much I’ve “grown-up” in my trust in Him. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel like a child with God and to be honest, I love that I can be a child, not have my act together, be as flawed and as annoying as I am with Him. It amazes me how much patience He has.

I think one of my favorite “signs” that God gave me was when I was back in college. I had a lot on my mind and I was asking God if I should move forward with a certain decision. It was raining hard, so I asked him to have the wind push against me if the answer was yes.

He almost immediately let the wind push against me to the point I felt like my umbrella would break and I couldn’t walk properly. After a good 15 seconds of fighting to walk straight, the rain and wind calmed and I got this message from God -

Regardless of the “sign” I give you, I know you’re going to do what you want to do, and that’s okay because I’ll be here for you and I will eventually help direct you to the right path. The question is whether you want to take the hard route where you’ll be pushing through the storm like you were just now or you trust me, not move forward with the decision, and you’ll be here under the sun. It’s up to you and I will be walking with you regardless of your decision and be there to help you find your path if you get lost, so the choice is yours.

I remember getting chills when this happened because when I heard the message of being “under the sun”, the sun shined through the leaves and were hitting the floor and that I had “a choice”?! This felt like it was the first time in my Christian walk that I clearly heard that I have a choice and God was content with whatever decision I made too.

Crazy, right?

I knew I shouldn’t move forward with the decision but my mind was already set, so it was nice to hear from God that He wasn’t mad at me about it. I did end up going through a bigger rollercoaster than I probably would’ve liked but I do not regret my decision in taking the hard route and never once did I feel God’s anger or disappointment too. It was moreso, “I’m not judging you, I’m here for you, let’s get through this together” and that made me feel so loved and thankful to have a God who loves me more than I could ever love anyone or anything.

Have you ever asked for “signs” from God? If so, what’s one of your favorite “signs”?

I absolutely love this song and it’s been my main go to repeat for the last year. The lyrics are repetitive, so you’ll be able to quickly memorize the lyrics, but this song helped me get through those days when I was feeling anxious about work, when I felt dry in my faith to needing a soft but also loud song to pump me up.

I love taking the time to pause and focus on the song and lyrics whenever this song comes up. It always helps remind me that God is really here and no matter the struggles, your battles, He’s gotchu.

Miracle worker, promise keeper
Light in the darkness
My God, that is who You are
Yes it is yeah, it's who You are
Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper
Light in the darkness (hey)
My God, that is who You are

Hope this song gives you the life and energy it gives me.

Julia

It’s been yet another long day of work. Something I’ve always thought about was - how do I spread light into this world, to my colleagues, reflect God’s presence and love? 

I’m not trying to evangelize everyone I meet, to be honest, I probably don’t even talk about Christ enough with even friends, but I always wanted to be one of those, “there’s something different about Julia. Oh, it’s because she’s a Christian!”  

I will admit that this did get into my head and I definitely tried to play this “I’m always happy and bright” or “I can be a kind person” - person for a while. But do you know what happens when you act “bright” and “nice” because you want people to view you this way? It gets exhausting and you will quickly realize you’re lying to yourself. 

I realized the hard way this “brightness” is a gift from God and you get it by building a relationship with Him. It’s by praying, trusting, reading, listening to Him (and my personal favorite, Christian music) that I can feel His warmth, so I’m easily able to be whoever He set me to be without caring about my reputation, wondering if I’m being genuine, but most importantly, not feeling exhausted. 

I used to be so good at asking God to help me write an email, lead meetings, to even give me wisdom on how I talk to my colleagues, but I’ve been doing this less and less since working from home. I can feel myself feeling more anxious at work, stressed, pressure... this isn’t how it’s supposed to be! 

I miss the days when even during the craziest and most stressful days, I made it alive feeling at peace and stayed calm during a storm. 

I need to challenge myself to listen to Christian music through the day more and give God a, “hello! I’m here, not sure what to say but I need your help to get through today. Is it selfish for me to ask for your help, your wisdom, and for peace in my heart? Okay, I know it’s selfish to ask you to help me succeed and perform well at work today but... I’m going to ask you for this help anyways, because I could really use the extra support. In Jesus’s name, amen.” 

Maybe I’ll try to share some Christian tunes that’s been on replay.

Thanks for reading,

 Julia 

For years, I thought about using this platform to write transparently and be my full vulnerable and true self. This idea came to mind back when I was in my last year in college, but this idea terrified me.

For some reason, I thought my decision to write freely would’ve hindered my future job search and impact my career opportunities. I was afraid of the judgement I would get from both friends to strangers, so instead, I decided to change the course of this website of mine and make it a food blog.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret capturing my food adventures (and I probably will pick this up again), mainly because I can never remember what I order at a restaurant, so I used this blog to share my restaurant reco with friends and so I can easily remember and reorder the same dish I got the last time I visited a restaurant. This made me appreciate food even more and gave me an excuse to take photos.

But after running away for so long, I’ve decided to finally take a leap of faith and blog about what I know best - living the Christian life in an urban city.

I’m not a pastor, I’ve had many battles and questions about Christianity, but most importantly, I’m just a human writing about what my experience has been like and will write about my challenges to blessings about (trying) to stand firm and follow Christ.

I can’t believe I’m going to actually start putting this out for the world of internet, but here we go.

Hello friends,

I’m Julia. I live in the city and I’m a Christian and no matter my doubts and the crazy trials of life, I’ve decided to write about the only truth that I believe in and try (I told you, I am human) to stand by proudly about my faith and relationship with Christ.

I decided to write about my experiences to hopefully help others know that they’re not alone in certain scenarios to non-Christians to ask questions, listen and learn, and even challenge me about anything I write about. This is also a huge part of who I am and I want my best friends to know this side of me on a deeper level to let them in on my life more too.

I’m nervous about posting this but it also feels right. It feels like this is something I should’ve done from the start. Oops, sorry for neglecting and running away (yet again) from you, God.

Alright, here we go.

Thanks for reading, friends. Stay tuned for more.
Julia

It almost feels awkward coming back to this blog of mine. Where do I even start? Do I even bother?

Safe to say 2020 was one heck of a year. It was also a year that I got to step away and truly face battles that I’ve been ignoring for years, but I had a few great blessing on my way to the end too.

But, back to this blog - to be honest, I’m still trying to figure out what to with it. I always have a lot of thoughts running through my head and if I sat down with you in person, you’ll easily find that I’m an open book, but when it comes to writing those thoughts down on, well, the internet, I shy away.

But maybe we start by taking baby steps. Take one step at a time out of my comfort zone. I might fall 10 steps behind, but for 2021, I want to challenge myself to keep pushing forward no matter what.

I have no idea if I’ll keep posting food photos or switch it up, but if you’re interested, stay tuned for more.

2021, let’s do this.

I took this photo around this time last year.

It feels weird to pause and celebrate accomplishments and small wins, but I made it a goal of mine this year to let myself pause and give myself a pat on the back because it’s okay to be proud, just don’t brag.

It’s been a year.

It makes me warm when I look at this photo because I know that the smile behind that camera was genuine and I was at peace with myself and life. I stopped running from my problems, embraced my failures and flaws, and turned what I thought was a dream to reality.

I’m proud.

In the last year, I managed to strengthen friendships with those who have my best interest and are positive lights in my life. I feel confident in the workplace and I’ve managed to take on so many new responsibilities. I successfully moved to NYC and settled-in quickly (p.s. I love it here too!). I managed to take three weeks off for the winter holiday to spend time with family. I got accepted to grad school, another dream of mine that turned into reality.

I’m proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish in the last year.

The last few years has been one heck of an adventure. I finally feel stable in my life, I know where I’m going, what I want, and who I am as an individual. I’m comfortable with life and I've been at continuous peace. Okay, maybe not all the time, it’s life, but overall, my heart has been filled with so much love and joy.

2019 goal: it’s okay to be proud.

I (obviously) know myself best and the stories behind every chapter of my life. There’s been some crazy stories in each chapter, tribulations, tears, and laughs. I’ve come a long way, but it feels like my story is just getting started, so I’m excited. I’m proud of how much I’ve come and grown but I’m also excited for the adventures to come and to keep learning more.

I’ve always been the type to have longterm goals and I’ll always dream big when it comes to my career-related 5 to 10 year plan, but I’m also just taking each day by day and enjoying life as is. Life is too short, time is only getting faster, so I might as well enjoy the right now while it lasts and celebrate those wins as they come.

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I know it’s been awhile since I last posted anything here; the start of the year always seems to be my toughest month(s) to get new content up since it’s usually spent getting over jet lag and getting back into the rhythm of things.  

Every new year, I try to set up a few personal goals. I’m usually 80% successful in keeping them, but for the first time ever, I’ve already broken almost 80% of them. This put me even more off beat. We’re at the end of month 2 of 2018 and I know I’m a little late to the “2018 resolution” party, but hey, better late than never, right?

This year, I decided to make it the year I face my fears.

We all have our fears and insecurities, whether it’s packing up your belongings to move to a new city, letting go of certain relationships because you don’t want to be alone, avoiding certain food items to maintain your figure, or getting yourself to attend that network/class you’ve always wanted to try. Whatever it is, I know everyone has their fears and insecurities, and that’s okay because we’re only human.

2018, I’m going to start tackling some of my fears head-on one by one. I’m in my 20s, so this really is the time to work hard, take risks, and take a leap of faith. It’s the time to jump out of comfort zones and start hiking that mountain you’ve always wanted to hike. It won’t be an easy journey, but if we don’t challenge ourselves when we’re young and have the energy, then how are we supposed to do so when we’re older? They say 20s is when you should start developing healthy skills because it’ll continue to carry over with you through your life, so let’s start developing them.

Start developing your skills now, take that leap of faith, don’t let your fears hold you back.

Even if you’re younger/older than 20s, it’s never too early/late for you to start your hike up that mountain you’ve always wanted to climb. Just don’t give up once you start, go by your own pace, and take moments to appreciate where you’re at because every step will have its own beauty if you look around. Once you get to the top and take-in the breathtaking view, you’ll feel on-top of the world and so incredibly proud that you challenged yourself to go on this journey.

I’d rather learn from my experiences than sit there in regret. 

I don’t ever want to look back in my life and think to myself, “what if I just went for it” or “I should have taken that leap of faith”. This is a lesson I learned early on in my high school years. Knowing fear was the reason for holding me back has personally become an unacceptable excuse.

And so, I’m going to stop procrastinating and make this the year I tackle my fears one by one. 2018, I am so incredibly excited. It's going to be an exciting year filled with lots of growth.